Forgetting the 'B' in LGBT - by Starla Knight

      Last month we discussed sexual fluidity, and how those who don’t fit into the identification of 100% straight or gay yet fit somewhere else on the scale, and what it means to society. And while I’ve mentioned a few times in the last year that I am a bisexual woman, we’ve yet to talk about the marginalization of those who don’t fit into the perfectly designed box of straight or gay. Culturally society worked to break the social stigmas of preferring the same sex. Through activism, awareness and brave celebrities we’ve socially progressed to accepting those who identify as gay or lesbian, for the most part, and we’ve come to understand/accept that some people prefer the same sex. But if that is truly the case why do Bisexuals feel more marginalized than any other orientation?

     It’s understandable to some extent.  Culturally it took us a while to understand that gay people were simply people wanting the same things out of life that straight people do. They want to be happy, work in fulfilling careers, live in safe environments, be loved by their family, love their family in return, and the person of their choosing. That they deserve all the rights straight people have. How did those who identify as loving another regardless of whether their sex matched theirs or not get left on the sidelines?  How did the B in LGBT get forgotten?

     A new report on the lives of lesbians, gays and bisexuals shows that the situation in most areas is comparable to that of heterosexuals. Still a small group shows signs of marginalization and minority stress.

      “The similarities are greater than the differences regarding quality of life. That suggests that the world is moving forward,” said Kirsti Malterud. She is one of the researchers behind a new report on the lives of lesbians, gays and bisexuals.

      “The previous report on quality of life from 1999 presented a dismal picture. We have been keen to provide more nuances,” said Malterud, a doctor and researcher at Uni Health in Uni Research.

     The study of quality of life of lesbians, gays and bisexuals shows that the conditions in most areas is comparable to that of heterosexuals. Yet not everything is rosy.

     “We see signs of marginalization and minority stress in a small group. This group has more mental health problems, poorer self-rated health, experiences loneliness and includes several suicide attempts. They suffer higher rates of chronic illness and harmful alcohol use. This applies to a minority, but it’s serious,” said Malterud.

     Within this minority, bisexual women have the most problems, according to the research report. Gays de-legitimatize bisexuals ... the lesbian and gay community abounds with negative images of bisexuals as fence-sitters, traitors, cop-outs, closet cases, people whose primary goal in life is to retain ‘heterosexual privilege’.

      There is an underlying fear that including bisexuals as members in gay rights movements may hurt the movement, either because it is believed that bisexuals “enjoy heterosexual privilege”, that they had less to lose than lesbian women or gay men, or because their presence lessens the solidarity among gay and lesbian groups in some way. Rather than fence sitters, bisexuals are at further risk for marginalization because they can be ostracized by both straight and gay communities. Writers on bisexuality recognize this danger however, as sociologist Amanda Udis-Kessler, puts it, “We are not fence-sitters. Let us strive to be bridge-builders”. These concerns are recognized by Lisa Orlando author of Loving whom we choose, who writes:

     “We challenge many people’s personal sense of what constitutes sexual identity. Whether we threaten by introducing a third category or by undermining the notion of categories altogether, we cause enough discomfort that many people deny our existence.”

      Thus, bisexual politics involve, among other issues, the debate over inclusion in both gay and straight movements and cultures.

     “There have been few previous studies of the quality of life of bisexuals in particular, and we did not know much about this in advance. We found differences in the life situation for some people in this group, especially for women. And that means that bisexuals deserve more attention; they’re struggling more,” said Malterud.

      The survey also shows that a great many bisexual men and women hide their sexual orientation at work (78 percent of bisexual men and 68 percent of bisexual women). The corresponding figures for gays and lesbians are 18 and 9 percent who hide their orientation respectively.

     “The fact that some are struggling is related to the attitudes of those around them. Perhaps there’s little room in our culture for people who don’t want to call themselves heterosexuals, gays or lesbians. Have we reached our limit of tolerance by accepting gays and lesbians, but then that’s enough?” asked Malterud.

     She thinks a diversity policy is needed and that society must become even more inclusive.

     “It’s not the case that it’s up to the individual to come out, this is a responsibility we all share.”

     The researchers also collected 274 stories about being “in the closet.” These have provided new insights into what it means to hide one’s sexual orientation.

     “The stories show that it’s wrong to talk about living in the closet. It’s not a question of either staying in or coming out, but it’s about the fact that lesbians, gays and bisexuals in a variety of social arenas are doing different things to hide their sexual orientation and considering the consequences of revealing it,” added Malterud.

     “Our report is important because of our sound methodological procedures. There is a strong probability that we can make definitive statements about differences in quality of life. This is because we used a national sample to be as representative of the population as possible, while we also recruited large numbers of lesbians, gays and bisexuals and we asked heterosexuals the same questions.”

     The problem of identity centers upon whether bisexuals build an identity around their bisexuality, what being a bisexual means socially, and how it relates to other identities such as feminism. One debate is whether or not it is valuable to establish bisexuality as a sexual identity. As author Jennifer Baumgardner writes:

     “It is feminist to understand bisexuality as its own identity too, because it’s a chapter of women’s history that has been repressed and misunderstood, and one that has contributed substantially to current ideas about queerness.”

     However the author recognizes that there are also political limitations to identifying as bisexual, saying that:

     The thing about being bisexual is that you don’t really have to be out in the same ways. You can often pass for straight. This can be a weak position politically – how can we organize people around gay rights if we don’t identify, and can’t be identified by others, as gay?

     Out of this debate, a variety of identity terms have expanded to include the many ideas surrounding this complex issue of identity and sexuality including, pansexuality (omnisexuality), polysexuality, and just “being sexual”.

     Among some critics, a belief is held that bisexual politics is important to equal rights on the basis of entitlement. The term entitlement here refers specifically to the belief that a bisexual can be and are viewed as straight in some public spheres and thus enjoy the benefits of equality that come along with “assumed heterosexuality.”Baumgardner recognizes this view and writes:

     “Bisexuality [...] contains the liberating potential of aligning with a disparaged (gay and lesbian) group but not being relegated – at least not full-time – to the ghetto. This is the political value of what is called, negatively, entitlement. The political weakness of entitlement (lack of consciousness) have been overstated – as with young feminists – and its potential for change has been neglected [...] Perhaps we need those bridging people on the side of privilege willing to connect the gay and straight worlds- in order to get more done [...] It takes someone who has known relative freedom, who expects it and loves it, to help ignite social change.”

      It would appear that there is still work to be done to bring awareness and acceptance to those who identify as anything other than straight gay or lesbian.  We’ve come a long way baby, let’s be sure that we continue to make strides.  No one deserves to be marginalized. Let’s accept, support and remember the B in LGBT. Bi Pride .

     As always, I love to hear from my readers. Any Bi readers who would love to share their perspective or stories on your experiences as a bisexual, write to me at starla.friction@gmail.com.  Stay safe, have fun!

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