Pleasure Talk with Amber - February 2018 - by Amber Jones

   

      It is February, a month of celebration of two amazing things: Black History (because without it we wouldn’t have all the great things like mailboxes, streetlights, the blood bank, or the world’s fastest computer) and Valentine’s Day. Although the history of Valentine’s Day is grim and just down right depressing, it has flourished into a billion-dollar obsessive man-made holiday where even if it’s not real, people want to feel loved and important for just that one day so they celebrate it.

     While thinking about Valentine’s Day, I thought about the one thing I always said I would give my husband (whenever I get one) on Valentine’s Day or our anniversary; and that was a threesome. As I was having this conversation with a friend of mine, I broke down how I would plan it, mainly controlling the entire situation because lord knows I do not need this to backfire in any kind of way lol. And that is when the whole conversation on threesomes and trains came into play. Now the reason I decided to touch on this topic this month was because it was also brought up in my Facebook group “Pleasure Talk” and I felt like it would be something great to discuss.

     Now with that being said I have a confession. I didn’t know that a train was two or more men interchangeably having sex with one women, and a threesome was two women and a man. In my mind three people having sex was by default considered a threesome. Hell, why make it complicated and make a new unnecessary sex category right? Wrong! I was harshly schooled, yes me, the Pleasure Expert, on the difference. I won’t say that I am mad about it but it did make me start thinking about the level of comfort in the conversation with women when speaking openly about it.

In the group Pleasure Talk, a member posted a picture of stick like figures. Which was a woman on all fours giving fellatio to a male stick figure, and then another male stick figure penetrating her from the back. The caption read “Every woman wants to secretly try this”. This post had 31 comments with only one women admitting to having this experience, me saying I have thought about it, and only one other admitting that they are all for it. This made me wonder about the level of shame behind this post that did not seem to contain a lot of women commentators who were as open to admit to having sex with two or more men at once. It was sort of confusing because in another post, the topic of two women and one man was welcomed with opened arms by everyone involved.

Simple name differences like threesome and train caused an entirely different condemnation from one another which is not fair at all. Why is it so sexy, exotic, and sensual for two women and one man to have sex but considered slutty, and degrading for a woman to enjoy herself with two or more men or even openly discuss it without getting the side eye? And the thing that is so crazy is the fact that men make us feel bad for desiring the same thing they do it is only when it is convenient for them (most of them at least).

With this in mind, I went on a search for answers, and my question was simple; Why are women looked at as sluts for wanting to have sex with two or more men at once? The response I got was astonishing to say the least! Not one man was able to give me a realistic answer as to what the issue was with it but they all kept expressing that they either looked at that woman differently after the fact or would if they found out that she enjoyed multiple men at the same time. Why is it that the same things that turn them on can’t turn us on? The same fantasies they have we have? Why is it okay for them to often objectify us but we are not given that same pleasure? None of these questions were answered!

During this conversation the topic of swinging, and a man’s manhood was also questioned which too was very ridiculous. Many men asked what kind of man would want a woman known for having sex with multiple men, or even being passed around? My answer to all of them was simple: A man who is secure in his sexuality yet selfless enough to allow his woman to explore hers. So often in relationships we get caught up in us women having to be submissive to our men and cater to their every beck and call and make all of their fantasies come true. Not that this is not the case but I believe in order for this to take place. I have to get everything I want in order for me to feel like you deserve and will get everything you want!

So ladies, if you fantasize about having 2 or more men catering to every inch of your body that is perfectly fine! The point of sex is not just to orgasm but to experience! And men, if your lady wants this it is okay to be down with this. You are still able to have control over how she is pleased, just lead the pack and show them how it’s done because in the end if you are doing it right nobody can do it like you anyway!


~Truly your Pleasure Expert~

Amber F. Jones