Naughty News for February 2018 - by Ericca M.

Charges Against Genital Mauler Dropped

Prosecutors decided against pursuing a criminal charge against a Pennsylvania woman who was arrested for allegedly attacking her spouse, leaving puncture marks and scratch marks on his genitals following a 1:45AM confrontation in the shower.

22-year-old Abigail Geiger was charged with simple assault in mid-September following a fight with her husband, David, inside the couple’s residence in Lititz, a Lancaster County town.

According to police reports, David “received puncture marks and scratch marks to his genitals” when Abigail grabbed him “to stop him from leaving the shower.” Abigail told officers that they had been arguing in the shower.

David was taken to a local hospital and treated for the injuries he suffered during the incident.

According to court records, the district attorney’s office withdrew the assault charge against Abigail on December 28. No reason was given for dropping the misdemeanor rap.

The Geigers, parents to an infant daughter, celebrated their first wedding anniversary in January.

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Walmart Worker Caught Creeping and Peeping

According to a police report, an unsuspecting female shopper was walking down an aisle when a Walmart worker crept up behind her, knelt down and used his smartphone to take a photo underneath the victim’s dress.

Cops were called on Tuesday afternoon, December 26th, to a Walmart in Boynton Beach, Florida after the shopper reported to store management that she had been victimized in a phone up the skirt incident. The 35-year-old victim had been told by another female shopper that she had been targeted by a Walmart employee.

Police reviewed store surveillance footage and it showed employee Madisson Clycove Ledan, 21, approaching the customer from behind. The video also showed him kneeling down and with “some kind of device in his left hand,” he “placed the device under the dress and then stood up and walked away.”

When police confronted him, Ledan refused to answer questions. His phone was seized as evidence, according to a probable cause affidavit.

Ledan was charged with video voyeurism, which is a felony. He was released from the Palm Beach County jail the following afternoon after posting $1500 bond.

An order signed by a Circuit Court judge prohibits Ledan from having any contact with the victim and the witness. Ledan is also barred from “all Walmart stores,” which is the biggest punishment of them all.


Cocaine Habits Die Hard

While waiting to be booked for causing a disturbance on Christmas Day, the 25-year-old Nicole Hunter, a Connecticut resident, removed some cocaine from her pocket and attempted to snort the drug inside the local police department.

Hunter was arrested after Ledyard police received reports of a reckless driver behind the wheel of a Kia SUV. After cops located the suspect vehicle in Hunter’s driveway, she became belligerent and charged at the responding officers, which resulted in her arrest.

After being taken to Ledyard’s police headquarters, Hunter removed a bindle of cocaine from her pocket while waiting to be searched and tried to snort the white powder. Her attempt was unsuccessful, according to police.

Hunter was charged with narcotics possession, disorderly conduct, and interfering with a police officers.

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Woman Molests Police Officers’ Arm

On December 12th, while sitting in a bus shelter, 34-year-old Floridian Nicole Shankster was enjoying a bottle of Skol Vodka while “simulating sex acts” for the enjoyment of drivers caught in rush hour traffic on the adjacent street.

When police arrived to arrest Shankster, the Clearwater resident repeatedly used racial slurs when addressing a black cop. Then, as she was being restrained from “masturbating while in police custody,” the defendant intentionally sexually satisfied herself on the left arm of Officer Ashley Mehler. She also licked the officer’s right arm.

The incident resulted in a felony battery on a law enforcement officer charge being filed against Shankster who was also charged with disorderly intoxication.

Shankster is locked up in lieu of $5100 bond.

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“Taylor Swift Made Me Do It”

A scissors-wielding maniac told police that his wife Taylor Swift encouraged him to attack a random man on a Portland, Oregon street, according to court records.

Police reported that Brent Thicksten, 43, was “acting weird” and terrorizing passersby the morning of December 10th, when he began to chase victim Andrew Rice. Thicksten, the allegedly swung at Rice with what appeared to be a knife as he chased him. Rice suffered a small laceration on his back as a result of the attack.

When officers apprehended Thicksten, he said that he wanted to stab Rice because his wife told him to kill him. Thicksten identified his spouse as Taylor Swift. When asked about the 28-year-old singer’s whereabouts, Thicksten replied, “We are one.”

Thicksten stopped answering police questions after telling cops he had “a top secret clearance.”

Charged with an assortment of felonies and misdemeanors, Thicksten is being held in the county jail until he can post his $277,500 bail.

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Donkey of the Month: Robert Wooten (Houston, TX)

40-year-old Texan Robert Wooten, is a career criminal whose rap sheet includes multiple felony convictions and prison terms. He is currently wanted in connection with a series of armed robberies in Houston.

It is not hard to identify Wooten since he has his own social security number tattooed on his forehead, as well as Houston’s area code, 713, inked on his throat.

Members of the public are being asked to call the Houston Police Department or Crime Stoppers of Houston if they have information about Wooten’s whereabouts.

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