Naughty News for December 2017 - by Ericca M.
Residents of Howard County in Maryland are calling Jessica Marie Cross, 27, “The Maryland Hamburglar” after she was arrested on the morning of November 16th. After a video of a break-in that occured in early November at a McDonald’s restaurant went viral, cops were able to locate and arrest Jessica Marie Cross, 27, on burglary and theft charges. According to investigators, a McDonald’s employee arrived to work on November 5th and discovered that the restaurant had been burglarized. The alleged thief got away with $1400.
Howard County cops reviewed store surveillance footage and witnessed the burglar--who was ultimately identified as Cross--pull up to the drive-thru window in a Hyundai Sonata around 1 in the morning on November 5th after the restaurant had closed. The video shows Cross pushing open the unlocked window, leaning in and retrieving a fountain drink. She then climbed through the window and proceeded to spend about 35 minutes in the restaurant before leaving through the front door. In addition to cash, Cross allegedly stole a purse, Happy Meal toys, and food items.
Cops says that Cross can be seen “attempting to disable the surveillance system, wipe her fingerprints from the area and wash the cash drawers to remove her fingerprints.”
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Let Sleeping Clowns Lie
A teenager in Vermont called 911 in the early morning hours of Oct. 29th to report that an intruder dressed as a clown was asleep in his residence. When officers arrived at the home at around 3:30am, they found Sean Barber, 43, intoxicated and sleeping in an upstairs bedroom inside the residence.
Barber was also in possession of cocaine during his arrest. Barber was booked into the Southern State Correctional Facility on unlawful trespass and cocaine possession charges. Barber apparently was wearing a Halloween costume when he was caught.
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Florida Prosecutors have declined to pursue a criminal case against a woman who was arrested for allegedly assaulting her estranged husband after he interrupted her while she was masturbating.
Flavia Higgs, 42, was arrested in mid-September following a late night altercation with her spouse Garrett inside their residence in Port St. Lucie that the duo still shares, although they sleep in separate bedrooms.
According to the police report, Garrett, 44, arrived home and heard moaning coming from inside of the house. After he determined that the sound was coming from Flavia’s bedroom, Garrett proceeded to bang on the locked door, but to no avail.
Garrett believed that there might have been another man in the house so he used a screwdriver to open the door, which instantly infuriated Flavia, who sought to “physically escort him out.” During the struggle, Flavia “struck him in the face,” police say.
When questioned by the police, Flavia said that Garrett barged into her bedroom while she “was pleasuring herself.” Flavia was subsequently arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge.
In a recent filing, prosecutors notified the court that they would not be pursuing criminal charges against Higgs. The “no information” notice--which does not detail why the case was abandoned--resulted in the court’s closure of the matter.
As of late October, the estranged couple appear to be living under the same roof.
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A Texas couple was arrested on Nov. 9th after they were caught having sex in a movie theater in San Antonio. According to the police, one of the suspects explained that they were “just having a little fun.”
Bexar County Sheriff’s Office deputies were called to the scene at the sprawling Santikos Casa Blanca theater in response to a 12:10am lewd conduct call. When police arrived, employees told them that a man and woman were having sex in theater #13. While doing his rounds, one employee spotted a woman with her hands around her male companion’s penis, stroking him really fast. The employee then exited the theater to report the incident to his manager.
When the employee and his manager returned, the woman could be seen straddling the man and sexually riding him. Upon closer inspection, the workers determined that the moviegoers were actually engaged in a sexual act. She is said to have been “riding him really fast.” They were interrupted by the employee, declaring: “You need to stop what you are doing and get off of him.” Caught by surprise, the couple “stood there for a long time” before the woman “began to pull up her pants” then the man raised his shorts.
Although the workers could not see the couple’s genitalia, they both noted that the couple had removed their clothing and were trying really hard to disguise what they were doing by covering themselves with a blanket. Police then confronted the couple and escorted them out of the theater, which was occupied by several other patrons. Melissa Feist-McCuistion, 39, and Adam Emmet Lee, 40, were subsequently charged with public lewdness, which is a misdemeanor.
During police questioning, Lee said, “Yeah, man, I should have known better.” While acknowledging that his behavior was “stupid on my part,” Lee added, “We were just having a little fun!” They are each free on $1600 bond in advance of a December 5th arraignment.
The theater manager told police that the couple’s activities may have been captured by hidden surveillance cameras, but that the footage from inside theater #13 could only be accessed by loss prevention officials.
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An Oregon man stands accused of stealing women’s coats from a college library and garments for “sexual gratification,” according to police.
The suspect, Mark Mahoney, 51, is facing multiple criminal charges in connection with the theft of coats from the libraries at Central Oregon Community College and Oregon State University-Cascades. Police report that Mahoney has been stealing coats from the colleges for over two years.
After campus police identified Mahoney as their suspect, Bend Police Department officers confronted him mid-November at his place of residence. Mahoney admitted to “stealing several high end winter coats since 2015.” Police recovered several of the clothing items from Mahoney’s home and car.
Cops say Mahoney admitted to using the coats for “sexual gratification” purposes. However, they did not address whether the garments would need dry cleaning or spot removal.
Mahoney was booked into the Deschutes County Jail on three theft charges and two criminal mischief counts. He has since been released on bond.
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Mile High Blues
Cops responded to a report of “two passengers having intercourse on the aircraft,” last Sunday afternoon to a Delta gate at the Wayne County Airport in Detroit.
When cops boarded the plane, they encountered Patricia Renee Knight, 48, and Jai Keion Marshall, 28, seated next to each other in row 26. Knight was scheduled to fly onto Nashville. Marshall was planning to take a connecting flight to Miami. They denied engaging in the act. Both passengers agreed that Knight fell asleep in Marshall’s lap.
Two other passengers and a flight attendant provided police with their accounts of the duo’s in-flight tryst. After being informed about the inappropriate situation, the flight attendant went to the row and witnessed the woman performing felatio on the male passenger.
The flight attendant asked Knight and Marshall for their boarding cards and their names. The employee also requested that Knight “remain in an upright seated position.” For his part, Marshall “tried to apologize to me,” the Delta worker wrote.
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