Pleasure Talk With Amber for September 2017
Pleasure Talk With Amber
“Oh, my God, Becky, look at her butt
It is so big, she looks like
One of those rap guys’ girlfriends
But, ya know, who understands those rap guys?
They only talk to her, because,
She looks like a total prostitute, ‘kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big
I can’t believe it’s just so round, it’s like out there
I mean gross, look
She’s just so, black.”
For those who may not be familiar with the dialogue at the beginning of this article, let me bring you up to speed a little. In 1992, there was a rapper by the name of Sir Mix-a-Lot who released a song by the name of “Baby Got Back”. It was almost like the anthem for women with hips, thick thighs, big butts, hell any type of curve that was shunned in the media at that time. Although this song made it nationally known that women in the black community were proud to be thicker than women of other nationalities, plus-sized women were still unable to open a magazine or see models on the runway that looked like us, or turn on the television and see beautiful ladies that represented us. We were undoubtedly still perceived as “gross” by many outside of our culture there were even plus-sized women that were not African-American that were looked at with the same level of disgust. This perception was only enhanced by the increase of the diet fads, over-production of workout VHS tapes and info-mercials, and not seeing women that actually looked like us.
This continued from the early nineties, probably even before then well into the 2000’s. This was definitely something that I would say contributed to the lack of confidence in women who were not in a single digit pant size. As a woman turning on the television and seeing that the women whom were being glorified did not have stretch marks, their thighs didn’t touch, and they didn’t have pouches, did something to our spirit. And whether it was conscious or subconscious, it made us feel inadequate and question our beauty. As if being a woman wasn’t hard enough in what some say is a man-crazed world, it just gave some of us more things to consider while living our daily lives, needing to put in that extra effort to satisfy and be accepted by the world.
So how did this affect us when it came to sex? Well, speaking from my own experience as a plus sized woman, I went through the phase I think many of us do; I know that I have these flaws, but is my man okay with my imperfections? Like, I know about my stretch marks, the dark spots on my inner thighs from them rubbing together when I walk, and the cellulite that I have become accustommed to; but wondering if he was okay with these things is where the nervousness and insecurities kicked in. It took a long time for me to be comfortable enough in my own skin, flaws and all, to no longer limit sexual encounters to night time hours, a dark room, or situations where I kept my shirt on because I was embarrassed of my rolls. I wouldn’t even allow someone to go down on me because of those dark spots on my inner thighs. I was surprised to discover that the whole time they weren’t even thinking about those things. Because of my own insecurities, I missed out on what could have been some amazing sex. As if they would have stopped laying some bomb pipe because they saw a stretch mark, lol. I’m just being honest.
Sex is sex, and no matter your body type, shape or size, male or female, you better ride that ride like it’s the last one you will ever experience. Sex can be your stress reliever, but that won’t be the case if you are too busy worrying about what your partner is thinking about your body. I will bet you any amount of money, if you just focus on giving him the best sex ever, the only reference he will probably give as it relates to your size is: “I didn’t expect that from a big girl!” And ladies, that’s a compliment!!!!
A great position that will blow his mind is riding him! Most men say women aren’t big fans of getting on top, so that is a sure fire way to get his attention and send the message that you really mean business. Get on top of him (without your shirt) and allow those beautiful breasts to catch his attention. Whether they are big, small, perky, or sag a little, I can guarantee once he becomes engulfed in the greatness of the nectar in between your legs he is going to reach for them and attach his mouth like a baby nursing. You can rest on your knees, or have your feet flat. Yes, you can bounce on it but remember you have to work those hips, and kegals! So even if it feels weird to wind on it or grind a little, it is going to take him to paradise. If you’re like me, then you will jiggle a little, but don’t fret, lean back a little to allow yourself to feel him even deeper. Leaning also allows his penis to hit your g-spot so don’t stop until you climax. This is also a great position to introduce erotic asphyxiation (the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for the purpose of sexual arousal) for either him or you or even both of you at the same time. Just remember to discuss limits and have a safe word to help prevent things from going too far.
“Oh, my God, Becky, look at her butt
It is so big, she looks like
One of those rap guys’ girlfriends
But, ya know, who understands those rap guys?
They only talk to her, because,
She looks like a total prostitute, ‘kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big
I can’t believe it’s just so round, it’s like out there
I mean gross, look
She’s just so, black.”
For those who may not be familiar with the dialogue at the beginning of this article, let me bring you up to speed a little. In 1992, there was a rapper by the name of Sir Mix-a-Lot who released a song by the name of “Baby Got Back”. It was almost like the anthem for women with hips, thick thighs, big butts, hell any type of curve that was shunned in the media at that time. Although this song made it nationally known that women in the black community were proud to be thicker than women of other nationalities, plus-sized women were still unable to open a magazine or see models on the runway that looked like us, or turn on the television and see beautiful ladies that represented us. We were undoubtedly still perceived as “gross” by many outside of our culture there were even plus-sized women that were not African-American that were looked at with the same level of disgust. This perception was only enhanced by the increase of the diet fads, over-production of workout VHS tapes and info-mercials, and not seeing women that actually looked like us.
This continued from the early nineties, probably even before then well into the 2000’s. This was definitely something that I would say contributed to the lack of confidence in women who were not in a single digit pant size. As a woman turning on the television and seeing that the women whom were being glorified did not have stretch marks, their thighs didn’t touch, and they didn’t have pouches, did something to our spirit. And whether it was conscious or subconscious, it made us feel inadequate and question our beauty. As if being a woman wasn’t hard enough in what some say is a man-crazed world, it just gave some of us more things to consider while living our daily lives, needing to put in that extra effort to satisfy and be accepted by the world.
So how did this affect us when it came to sex? Well, speaking from my own experience as a plus sized woman, I went through the phase I think many of us do; I know that I have these flaws, but is my man okay with my imperfections? Like, I know about my stretch marks, the dark spots on my inner thighs from them rubbing together when I walk, and the cellulite that I have become accustommed to; but wondering if he was okay with these things is where the nervousness and insecurities kicked in. It took a long time for me to be comfortable enough in my own skin, flaws and all, to no longer limit sexual encounters to night time hours, a dark room, or situations where I kept my shirt on because I was embarrassed of my rolls. I wouldn’t even allow someone to go down on me because of those dark spots on my inner thighs. I was surprised to discover that the whole time they weren’t even thinking about those things. Because of my own insecurities, I missed out on what could have been some amazing sex. As if they would have stopped laying some bomb pipe because they saw a stretch mark, lol. I’m just being honest.
Sex is sex, and no matter your body type, shape or size, male or female, you better ride that ride like it’s the last one you will ever experience. Sex can be your stress reliever, but that won’t be the case if you are too busy worrying about what your partner is thinking about your body. I will bet you any amount of money, if you just focus on giving him the best sex ever, the only reference he will probably give as it relates to your size is: “I didn’t expect that from a big girl!” And ladies, that’s a compliment!!!!
A great position that will blow his mind is riding him! Most men say women aren’t big fans of getting on top, so that is a sure fire way to get his attention and send the message that you really mean business. Get on top of him (without your shirt) and allow those beautiful breasts to catch his attention. Whether they are big, small, perky, or sag a little, I can guarantee once he becomes engulfed in the greatness of the nectar in between your legs he is going to reach for them and attach his mouth like a baby nursing. You can rest on your knees, or have your feet flat. Yes, you can bounce on it but remember you have to work those hips, and kegals! So even if it feels weird to wind on it or grind a little, it is going to take him to paradise. If you’re like me, then you will jiggle a little, but don’t fret, lean back a little to allow yourself to feel him even deeper. Leaning also allows his penis to hit your g-spot so don’t stop until you climax. This is also a great position to introduce erotic asphyxiation (the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for the purpose of sexual arousal) for either him or you or even both of you at the same time. Just remember to discuss limits and have a safe word to help prevent things from going too far.
“The real MVP goes out to those of us
who aren’t afraid of wearing a two
piece, or crop top, or hell, even
short shorts.”
So ladies, needless to say, times have changed and so has the level of acceptance for plus-sized women. You are now able to turn on the TV and see plus-sized women on America’s Next Top Model, or plus-sized Drag Queens on RuPaul’s Drag Race. You are now able to shop in the same store as the girls in the single digit sizes and the styles are no longer just ugly floral print. You are now the women that men fantasize over and women pay to have some of the features we were blessed with naturally. Some would give credit to Kim Kardashian for making having a big ass and curves trendy, but I give credit to all of us plus-sized women who have become confident over time and flaunted their sexiness, in spite of the rolls, stretch marks, or fupa. The real MVP goes out to those of us who aren’t afraid of wearing a two piece, or crop top, or hell, even short shorts. So don’t ever forget to think sexy, be sexy, look sexy, feel sexy, and fuck his brains out like only a big girl can!
Signed your Pleasure Expert and Love Coach,
- Amber Jones
Facebook: @ptalkwithamber
Instagram: @pleasure_talk_with_amber
www.pleasuretalkwithamber.com
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